Saturday, September 21, 2013

Little Diana and The Pink Dress: A Mostly True Story


Mujer says she is bringing me a surprise. I hope it is a present. I hope it is a puppy. I hope it is something sweet.

When my grandmother descends the plane’s steep staircase, stepping onto the tarmac on an overcast Sacramento day, she is holding the hand of a small girl. Mujer doesn’t look like she has a present for me, but maybe it’s too big to carry. Maybe it will be on the conveyor belt inside her large, blue suitcase.

“This is Little Diana.” Mujer beams her famous smile. I know who that girl is. Debbie’s daughter. My niece. But I don’t talk to her, not for the whole long drive from the airport to our house.

“Where’s my surprise?” I ask after watching Mujer unpack her suitcase for hours and hours.

 Mujer laughs. “The surprise is Little Diana. I brought her to see you. Why don’t you take her outside to play?”


This is worse than no present. Diana is barely two, a baby. What am I supposed to do with a baby?

Diana follows me to my bedroom. She touches Bianca and Bernard, my stuffed mice from The Rescuers. She hugs Pooh and makes Cookie Monster’s eyes rattle. This is so upsetting that I have to put on my pink dress.

I am not supposed to play in my pink dress. It is delicate, with white lace and a skirt that goes all the way to the ground, like a real dress for a real lady. But the best thing about the dress is that when I spin around, it billows out around me like a bell.

In the backyard, there is a swing set with a slide and monkey bars. Diana is too little, though, so I put her in the sandbox. I don’t play in the sandbox any more because I’d recently discovered that the Indian Clay I used to make sculptures of tiny towns by adding water and sand to make the clay more pliable was not clay at all. Carol, who is ten and therefore knows everything, says there’ve never been Indians here.

“Then what’s this?” I’d asked her last week, showing her the house I’d build out of three chunks of Indian clay.

“Cat poop.”

Luckily, Diana is a baby, so she won’t know any better. I leave her in the cat poop. She’s happy there, giggling and being stupidly cute, until she sees me swinging high overhead like a trapeze artist in a sparkly dress. She cries and cries, so I go on the slide instead.

I whoosh down the slide’s metal surface, like a sleek otter. The pink dress makes the journey smooth, especially when the hem tears a little, and I can cover my feet, too.

Diana’s still crying, so next I spin and spin in my pink dress. I spin so fast that I can’t hear her, or if I do, it sounds like “whaaAAaaAAaa.”

“What’re you doing to Diana?” My mom, Big Diana, comes out of the house. “You’re not supposed to wear that dress outside.”

A lady always wears a dress. I stand my ground, silent but resolved.

“Get Diana,” Mom says, but when I don’t move, she stomps over and yanks me by the arm. I stumble on the ripped hem and fall.

Grass stains! Grass stains! On my knees, on the hem. Now, I’m the one crying. A lady never has grass stains on her pink dress.

“It was getting too small for you anyway,” Mom says. “We can cut it down to fit Little Diana.”

Her words only make me cry harder. I can’t get off the ground. My dress is ruined and stolen by a baby and now I can never be a real lady.